so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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