Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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