I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
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look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
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All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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