its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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