They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I need a beard to bite.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
