Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
