And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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