Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
