I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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