Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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