Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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