hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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