She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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