Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
