dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
How external is "for external use only"?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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