I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I fill condoms, not promises.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
