And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize