the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize