those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
