He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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