would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
