would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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