I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
