i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
