i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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