I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
