I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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