That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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