Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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