Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
