haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
