Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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