I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
