I met the friendliest cop last night
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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