is wine microwaveable?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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