Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
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I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
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Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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