So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
