i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
