Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I came so hard my ears popped.
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