'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
