i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
