Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he shaved USA in his pubs
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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