Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
