Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
