This is not my ceiling
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
