remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now understand why vodka
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize