Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
