so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
