i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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