if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
