Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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