Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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