I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
