i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
