Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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