lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
