You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
