id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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