hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
