you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
